FUN DIP and COKE (the candy and the drink, not the drug)

Two of my favorite things in the entire world are Fun Dip candy and the beverage Coca-Cola. When faced with the question if I could have one thing to eat and drink for the rest of my life, I actually hesitate. Selecting coke as my life beverage is a no brainer but the Fun Dip.... seeing how it would do nothing for me nutritionally is a bit more of a dilemma. None the less, still a dilemma. In case you are wondering what my "life" food default is, it is the club sandwich. Probably not a surprise if you actually know me.

I have always loved soda, but I am not quite sure when my fascination for Coke actually began. My earliest, loving memories of Coke are from Chemistry my Junior year of high school. I remember the class was right before lunch but right after History. I faced extreme tiredness because of this, daily. I mean this class was awful.... aside from the acid burn I got on my pinkie finger allowing me to skip out on a lab one day, there was nothing even remotely memorable about that class. I could have lost my life early to boredom. In order to entertain myself, I would buy a one liter bottle of Coke and finish it in 50 minutes. They sold the Coke at school of course, right next to the Crystal Light machine, that only lasted a semester as our healthy drink option. The Crystal Light machine was later replaced by Aquafina, which was later replaced by Snapple. The only machine other than the Coke machine that had staying power was the M&M vending machine. Anyways, that 1 liter of coke was the highlight of 3rd period and since then my 11 o clock coke fix is always/has always been in the back of my mind. My friend Shawna jokes about the times when we would be running late to our History class (in college), with no time to stop for coffee. She claims the class would be totally silent at 9 am, except for the sound of me cracking open a can. Also, lets not forget, this addiction has followed me into my work life. I normally try to hold out until 11 but sometimes I get desperate. I once heard someone say in their cubicle (outside my office), "did somebody just open a can of soda??" I was embarrassed. It was me and it was 8 am.

My Fun Dip passion began very specifically. It was my fifth grade year and in order to supplement my income, myself and two of my friends broke into the candy business. We would go every night to a convenient store and purchase little candies for 25 cents and retail them for 50 on the playground. One of the candies were mini packets of Fun Dip. A single pouch of sugar, with a single sugar wand. These went like hot cakes, mostly because I ate them all before I could sell them. When I did have some left, kids were always quick to snatch it up. Of course, in the world of fifth grade, buying and eating fun dips was not enough and someone had to take it too far. This person is still in my life but I think he knows who he is. Well it was lunch time on a Friday and this person dumped the entire packet of Fun Dip onto the table. Once on the table, he decided to snort the entire packet up his nose. This snorting led to choking, which led to a bloody nose which led to me in the principals office and a ban on Fun Dip. Needless to say, our business gig was up. Suspiciously, weeks later one of our teachers began a "STORE" in his class room. He claimed to our parents it was for school supplies and healthy treats but the majority of the merchandise he carried was of the sugar variety. I never bought anything to prove a point.